July 29th

Happy 30th Birthday Sam...

and Happy 30th to my sister, too!

(sorry the post is a day late)

Just because

I am aware that there is not much going on in this video. I just found it to be a sweet moment the other night and wanted to share with you. Gotta love the ears.

Hippy Chick!

Thanks to our Oregon friends (the Marples), Ada is outfitted in proper Eugene attire.

Summertime

...a hot day in the desert
...essential desert gear!
...napping on Great Grandma's shoulder
...hanging out with Papa's chickens

Cousins!!!

Top (L-R) Travis Butts, Ethan Engman, Ada Schwartz, Jayna Butts. Ada's cousins on Sam's side.
Bottom: Brady and Tayiah Baxter. Second cousins on my side.

So Ada and I were able to take a quick jaunt home last weekend (sorry close friends, it was a 2 1/2 day trip that consisted of lots of Grandma's, Great Grandma's, Grandpa's, Aunts and lots of cousins!).

It was the perfect trip; although I regret that one of Sam's sisters and his grandparents have not been able to meet Ada.

Everyone told me, "Oh, this is an easy age to travel with." I agree that having Ada immobile made it easier, but traveling with an infant is no laughing matter. Spit-up and poop in an airport is NOT fun. Add nursing, luggage and a stroller on top of that and you have an adventure! I must admit, Ada was a doll on the airplane by sleeping through most of the flight(s) and smiling at a few strangers.

I had to laugh occasionally at the stares I got walking through the terminal (wearing Ada in our Baby Bjorn) while pushing a stroller that had my carry-on and diaper bag in it. The stares that didn't make me laugh, however, were the looks of dread when I got ON the plane. One woman said, "oh man, we forgot our earplugs."

Sam and I used to be those people. I am happy we aren't anymore.

I so appreciated the other Moms AND Dads who offered to help put my carry-on overhead...and open the bag of pretzels for me to snack on since my hands were occupied. I also enjoyed learning about their kids and hearing funny stories about their traveling adventures.

The most interesting characters on the plane included a woman who was traveling back to El Salvador with her husband. They had traveled by boat from Washington to S. America and were living on their houseboat (with a 10 ft. Alligator living nearby); a 2 year adventure that they planned for over 10 years. Their next destination was to Copan to see Mayan temples. I really enjoyed that conversation. I can't really say the same for the other "character". He was possibly the kindest man I've ever met but he had an obsession with Terminator movies. Yep, I spent the bulk of my plane ride (LAX to PDX) hearing about Sarah Conner (trying not to laugh at myself because all I could hear in the back of my mind was Sam's impersonation of Ah-nold saying "Sarah Cah-na"). He repeated, verbatim (I guess), several scenes from various Terminator movies. I obliged him with many "oh's" and "mmm-hmm's." What the heck, not much else to do but make him uncomfortable with my nursing bib and hungry kid!

The best part of the trip was getting to share Ada with her family, getting to rest and spending time in my most favorite place - Oregon!

My sweet-pea

I have spent the better part of this weekend looking only at Ada, thinking about the moment she was born and hours leading up to it; remembering how in the throws of labor I thought of all the women before me over the eons of time who worked so hard to bring their babies into this world and how connected I felt to all of them in that birth room.

The rest of the weekend I have spent in outbursts of tears, not only because I was thinking of her birth, (and because I have CRAZY hormones), but because tomorrow I return to work.

Let me start by saying that I am thankful to be working; to have insurance, be able to pay bills and help put food in the fridge. I will most certainly be the last person to complain about having a job, given the daily depression that ensues every time one turns on the news.

Working is not my problem; leaving my baby tomorrow may be harder than it was to deliver her though. I have been thinking about how unnatural it feels to leave her (the feminist in me is twitching a bit making this statement...but only twitching a little bit).

I have visions of putting her in a wrap and carrying her around with me, like the images women working in the fields with their babies strapped to their backs; taking moments out of their day to nurse.

She seems small enough for me to put in my pocket.

Someday I will spend time at home with my kids (yes, one more is the plan) and plant a garden, tend chickens and cook away. Now is not the time for that though.

Sam is at Target at this very moment, picking out a frame (he wanted to pick it out) for me to take pics of Ada with me to work tomorrow to place on my desk. We picked the pictures out together today. The pics I get to look at day in and day out while I am working on a grant, reading email or talking on the Crisis Hotline.

When Sam and I first started dating, he purchased a black-hills gold heart-shaped locket for me on our very first Valentines Day (approx 9-10 years ago). I have never put a picture in that locket until now; and certainly didn't think at the time I opened it that I would put a picture of our daughter in it! I think I may never take that necklace off!

I wonder if this will ever get easier?

Double-chins...

...the only time in our lives when double chins and no teeth are cute!!