I was the perfect parent until I became one.

I would have un-ending patience.

I would have a well behaved child.

My child would never scream like a wild banchee in Sears.

I would use techniques I read from books - they seemed easy enough.

I would remain calm while I taught right from wrong.

I would be able to easily distract my child with toys, books, a shoe...

I would know how to manage each and every situation.

My child would never act like THAT child.